I punched the brake, hoping the trailer would pass in front of me.It would have, if it wasn’t tapped by a driver in the oncoming lane, his own tires squealing. Just a nudge.I was done in by a nudge. The tongue of the trailer bounced once on the pavement, jumped up, punched into my little grey SUV, right ahead of the driver’s door. Caved in. metal bent. airbags popped. (Airbags are neat. Explosives – right there in the car with you. Might be interesting to look into – funny how the mind works in slow motion during an accident)My car slewed sideways, got tagged in the rear by another less attentive driver.It’s like slow motion when it’s happening. I remember the powder from the side airbag. And the pain.My door won’t open. I try to move. I think I screamed. Cindy, don’t do that again.A good Samaritan rapped on my passenger-side window.“Break it!” I yelled. Winced. Whimpered.“Turn your head,” he yelled.I turned my head, squeezed my eyes shut, heard glass shatter, then the door open.“Are. "Well," he asked, "what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"I couldn't believe that he didn't know - so I told him, "Hellooo! Those are my emergency flashers!"This one is compliments of RabbiRabbitA businessman in the first class cabin decided to chat up the drop dead, gorgeous flight attendant."What is your name?"Flight Attendant: "Angela Benz, sir"Businessman: "Lovely name ... any relation to Mercedes Benz?"Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close"Businessman: "How close?"Flight Attendant: "Same price"Absolutely clever and oddly truthful this ought to take some of the curse out of it.THE PULITZER COLONOSCOPYABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.Colonoscopy Journal:I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing.
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